If you haven't seen the Disney movie "Meet the Robinsons", you should see it now. Oh, and I love this song from it.
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
Thursday, September 1, 2011
Created for Care Retreat
I'm so excited that registration for the Created to Care retreat opened last night. Thinking back to last year I had to talk myself into going. I really didn't know anyone but I am so glad I went. I met some wonderful people and learned some amazing things. It was wonderful to be in a place with 200 other ladies that know excatly what you are talking about and how you feel. This year it will be 400 ladies and I can't wait to see what happens! If you didn't get in this year, make a point to plan for it next year. You won't be disappointed!
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
Excitement!
Last night, as I was going to sleep, I prayed. I said, "Lord, I'm going to have to throw out a fleece. Well, I don't want to test you but I need something. A sign or something so we know what to do."
I had been praying that God would change our desires. That He would strengthen our desire for Rwanda or take it away and show us something else. Last night, though, I needed something more and I told Him that.
Today, we got an e-mail saying that about 20 new children were transferred to the orphanage and referrals were being made. I checked the yahoo board I read and there it was...a referral!! Not ours, of course, but still a referral!! Exciting!! It was just what I needed to keep me going!
Praise the Lord!!
I had been praying that God would change our desires. That He would strengthen our desire for Rwanda or take it away and show us something else. Last night, though, I needed something more and I told Him that.
Today, we got an e-mail saying that about 20 new children were transferred to the orphanage and referrals were being made. I checked the yahoo board I read and there it was...a referral!! Not ours, of course, but still a referral!! Exciting!! It was just what I needed to keep me going!
Praise the Lord!!
Thursday, August 11, 2011
Approval.....
and regret.
We got our letter today. It was dated 8/09/11 and it said we are approved and we have 6 months to be matched or our case is going to be closed. Is this good news? I'm not sure. Our clock is ticking now. We have waited forever for this and now I don't feel the excitement I thought it would bring.
Tick....tick....tick
We got our letter today. It was dated 8/09/11 and it said we are approved and we have 6 months to be matched or our case is going to be closed. Is this good news? I'm not sure. Our clock is ticking now. We have waited forever for this and now I don't feel the excitement I thought it would bring.
Tick....tick....tick
Monday, August 1, 2011
Where there's fire, there's smoke...or is there?
With all that is going on with this adoption, the ups and downs and rumors it may end without a child, I have been thinking alot about Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego.
You are probably thinking, "Wow, that is random." Let me explain. We probably all know the story but let me sum it up anyway.
King Nebuchadnezzar, King of Babylon, had made an image of gold, ninety feet high and nine feet wide. He had decided that everyone was going to bow down and worship this idol. If they refused, they would be thrown immediately into a fiery furnace. So, they gather everyone together and they even hired a band. When the music started to play, that was everyone's cue to bow down and worship this idol. Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego, did not bow down. So, some astrologers, people who wanted to get in good with the king, came to King Nebuchadnezzar and pointed out the three men that didn't bow down. Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego were brought forward and the king asked them, "Is it true you are not worshipping the image I made? If you don't, I'm going to throw you into the fiery furnace!"
Now let me quote Daniel 3:16-18
Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego replied to the king, "O Nebuchadnezzar, we do not need to defend ourselves before you in this matter. If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to save us from it, and He will rescue us from your hand, O king. But even if he does not, we want you to know, O king, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up."
WOW! They just told the king that they are willing to endure the furnace because God can save them and even if He doesn't they were still going to serve God and not worship this false idol. So...the king threw them in the fiery furnace, bound with ropes. This fire was so hot it killed the soldier that got just close enough to throw them in. King Nebuchadnezzar watched and he saw four men in the furnace and they were unbound and unharmed.
This is the part I love....the last part of Daniel 3:26-27.
"So Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego came out of the fire, and the satraps, prefects, governors, and royal advisors crowed around them. They saw that the fire had not harmed their bodies, nor was a hair of their heads singed; their robes were not scorched, and there was no smell of fire on them."
They didn't even smell like smoke! Did you see that? I never saw it till I did the Beth Moore study of Daniel and now I can't stop thinking about it. When King Nebuchadnezzar saw this, he praised God and decreed no one will ever talk bad about Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego's God or they would be cut into little pieces. King Nebuchadnezzar was a little dramatic. :)
What on earth does this have to do with adoption? Well, here is what I think. The ups and the downs of this have been a trial for me. I am a worrier and I have the tendency to get bitter and angry. It is a daily battle to keep these emotions in check. So, when I feel these emotions start to bubble up, I just tell myself, "I don't want to smell like smoke." God's going to take me through this trial and I don't know if I will end up with the daughter from Rwanda that I have been dreaming about but I can control whether or not "I smell like smoke" at the end. If people know the troubles we have gone through and can look at me and say, "You look peaceful, I wouldn't even think anything had happened." That is just the same as saying, "You went through that fire? You don't even smell like smoke."
Maybe then they will praise God!
You are probably thinking, "Wow, that is random." Let me explain. We probably all know the story but let me sum it up anyway.
King Nebuchadnezzar, King of Babylon, had made an image of gold, ninety feet high and nine feet wide. He had decided that everyone was going to bow down and worship this idol. If they refused, they would be thrown immediately into a fiery furnace. So, they gather everyone together and they even hired a band. When the music started to play, that was everyone's cue to bow down and worship this idol. Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego, did not bow down. So, some astrologers, people who wanted to get in good with the king, came to King Nebuchadnezzar and pointed out the three men that didn't bow down. Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego were brought forward and the king asked them, "Is it true you are not worshipping the image I made? If you don't, I'm going to throw you into the fiery furnace!"
Now let me quote Daniel 3:16-18
Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego replied to the king, "O Nebuchadnezzar, we do not need to defend ourselves before you in this matter. If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to save us from it, and He will rescue us from your hand, O king. But even if he does not, we want you to know, O king, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up."
WOW! They just told the king that they are willing to endure the furnace because God can save them and even if He doesn't they were still going to serve God and not worship this false idol. So...the king threw them in the fiery furnace, bound with ropes. This fire was so hot it killed the soldier that got just close enough to throw them in. King Nebuchadnezzar watched and he saw four men in the furnace and they were unbound and unharmed.
This is the part I love....the last part of Daniel 3:26-27.
"So Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego came out of the fire, and the satraps, prefects, governors, and royal advisors crowed around them. They saw that the fire had not harmed their bodies, nor was a hair of their heads singed; their robes were not scorched, and there was no smell of fire on them."
They didn't even smell like smoke! Did you see that? I never saw it till I did the Beth Moore study of Daniel and now I can't stop thinking about it. When King Nebuchadnezzar saw this, he praised God and decreed no one will ever talk bad about Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego's God or they would be cut into little pieces. King Nebuchadnezzar was a little dramatic. :)
What on earth does this have to do with adoption? Well, here is what I think. The ups and the downs of this have been a trial for me. I am a worrier and I have the tendency to get bitter and angry. It is a daily battle to keep these emotions in check. So, when I feel these emotions start to bubble up, I just tell myself, "I don't want to smell like smoke." God's going to take me through this trial and I don't know if I will end up with the daughter from Rwanda that I have been dreaming about but I can control whether or not "I smell like smoke" at the end. If people know the troubles we have gone through and can look at me and say, "You look peaceful, I wouldn't even think anything had happened." That is just the same as saying, "You went through that fire? You don't even smell like smoke."
Maybe then they will praise God!
Thursday, July 28, 2011
Good Things
It looks as if everything just fell apart and there was no good anywhere but that is not true. When we first found out that our adoption is on "life support", the underlying tension in our household grew tremendously. There were multiple causes to the tension. This long wait (that we never thought we would have), the fact that Paul felt stuck in his job and didn't really want to do it anymore (that had been growing for a while), and the fact that we couldn't just get away from it all.
Finally, God opened a door and Paul applied for a new position at work. He got the new job and I can't tell you what that meant for us. It was a breath of fresh air for Paul. His steps have been lighter ever since. Today, I ask myself, did God give him this job because He knew what was coming? Was this just a little bit of grace so that the thought of our adoption being over and starting again wouldn't crush us? I am grateful for it either way.
The wait and the fact that we can't get away due to saving all our money for the adoption still hasn't changed. There is really nothing we can do about that.
Another good thing that came out of this moment is that we had some really good friends step up and support us. I also know that people in our church were really praying for us. I know we couldn't have gotten through this without them. Thanks!!
We still haven't made a decision on what we are going to do. We have asked God to place His desires in our heart and we want to do what He wants us to do. Paul says that he has the desire to change countries and that even with all his praying that desire hasn't waivered so that is where he thinks God is pointing us. I felt the desire to change countries at the beginning but now, to be perfectly honest, I'm just numb. I keep looking for signs to stay with Rwanda, all the while thinking about what we need to do to start our new dossier. I have even rearranged the house (in my head, of course) so that we would be able to take 2 children instead of one.
We are going to make our mind up in 3 days, the end of the month. Then we will just jump in with both feet. Fully committed to waiting or starting all over again.
Please, please, please continue to pray for us!! We need all the help we can get.
Finally, God opened a door and Paul applied for a new position at work. He got the new job and I can't tell you what that meant for us. It was a breath of fresh air for Paul. His steps have been lighter ever since. Today, I ask myself, did God give him this job because He knew what was coming? Was this just a little bit of grace so that the thought of our adoption being over and starting again wouldn't crush us? I am grateful for it either way.
The wait and the fact that we can't get away due to saving all our money for the adoption still hasn't changed. There is really nothing we can do about that.
Another good thing that came out of this moment is that we had some really good friends step up and support us. I also know that people in our church were really praying for us. I know we couldn't have gotten through this without them. Thanks!!
We still haven't made a decision on what we are going to do. We have asked God to place His desires in our heart and we want to do what He wants us to do. Paul says that he has the desire to change countries and that even with all his praying that desire hasn't waivered so that is where he thinks God is pointing us. I felt the desire to change countries at the beginning but now, to be perfectly honest, I'm just numb. I keep looking for signs to stay with Rwanda, all the while thinking about what we need to do to start our new dossier. I have even rearranged the house (in my head, of course) so that we would be able to take 2 children instead of one.
We are going to make our mind up in 3 days, the end of the month. Then we will just jump in with both feet. Fully committed to waiting or starting all over again.
Please, please, please continue to pray for us!! We need all the help we can get.
Thursday, July 14, 2011
The Rest of the Story
And now...the rest of the story.
We have been waiting for 10 months now. Our 10 month anniversary was yesterday, in fact. All this time we have been hearing rumors. Rumors about how fast the Rwandan government is moving, when they will be done, amount of travel time changing, etc. There was one rumor that really caught our attention. The orphanage is running out of children. This should be good news to my ears. Really, I wish there were no more orphans anywhere but, in a country where there are reportedly almost 1 million orphans, how can they run out before they get to #136!! We had heard that one family had received a regret letter. This letter told the family that the orphanage had no children to meet their request and the government would hold their dossier for 6 months and if no child was found, close their case.
I called our agency to find out if this was true. This had me worried. They looked into the problem but it wasn't something on which they could get back to me quickly. This fear has loomed over our head for months now. It's like living everyday life waiting for the doctor to call and say you've miscarried. Stress grew! About a month ago, we got a call. We were told that several families from our agency would receive this regret letter but so far we were not one of the families. Was this because we weren't getting one? Was this because the government hadn't reviewed our dossier yet? No one was sure.
Now we are sure. At least as sure as we can be. You see, nothing has ever been sure throughout this whole wait. As of right now, the Rwandan government will be issuing regret letters to everyone that has not already received approval. That includes us. They will not be allowing families to adjust the age range in hopes of matching to another waiting child. The government does not have the resources and manpower to bring the other orphanages up to standard.
In short (short ha ha), where does this leave us? With a BIG decision to make. Do we stay with Rwanda and wait out the next 7 or 8 months (we haven't received our 6 month regret letter yet) and see if a child becomes available? Do we switch countries and start all over again? If only God had given us a road map!
This looks bleak. I have cried many tears over it but God has done some wonderful things for us. I will make a post just for the good things in a couple of days. Please pray for us. Please pray that we will know what God wants us to do.
We have been waiting for 10 months now. Our 10 month anniversary was yesterday, in fact. All this time we have been hearing rumors. Rumors about how fast the Rwandan government is moving, when they will be done, amount of travel time changing, etc. There was one rumor that really caught our attention. The orphanage is running out of children. This should be good news to my ears. Really, I wish there were no more orphans anywhere but, in a country where there are reportedly almost 1 million orphans, how can they run out before they get to #136!! We had heard that one family had received a regret letter. This letter told the family that the orphanage had no children to meet their request and the government would hold their dossier for 6 months and if no child was found, close their case.
I called our agency to find out if this was true. This had me worried. They looked into the problem but it wasn't something on which they could get back to me quickly. This fear has loomed over our head for months now. It's like living everyday life waiting for the doctor to call and say you've miscarried. Stress grew! About a month ago, we got a call. We were told that several families from our agency would receive this regret letter but so far we were not one of the families. Was this because we weren't getting one? Was this because the government hadn't reviewed our dossier yet? No one was sure.
Now we are sure. At least as sure as we can be. You see, nothing has ever been sure throughout this whole wait. As of right now, the Rwandan government will be issuing regret letters to everyone that has not already received approval. That includes us. They will not be allowing families to adjust the age range in hopes of matching to another waiting child. The government does not have the resources and manpower to bring the other orphanages up to standard.
In short (short ha ha), where does this leave us? With a BIG decision to make. Do we stay with Rwanda and wait out the next 7 or 8 months (we haven't received our 6 month regret letter yet) and see if a child becomes available? Do we switch countries and start all over again? If only God had given us a road map!
This looks bleak. I have cried many tears over it but God has done some wonderful things for us. I will make a post just for the good things in a couple of days. Please pray for us. Please pray that we will know what God wants us to do.
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