Whoever said...

Well, its been a month since I have posted anything. There are reasons for that. First, we participated in the Ordinary Hero fundraiser. I wanted my post about that to stay on the opening page of my blog for the month. Thank you so much for everyone who bought something. You are greatly appreciated!!

Second, there is really nothing else to post. We got our monthly call in November but there was really no news of which to speak. The Rwandan government has been in training meetings or something like that. I'm glad they are learning how to make everything better, I'm glad they seem to really care about the kids and realize that what they are doing affects a child's life tremendously. On the other hand, though, every day that passes without a referral affects a child's life tremendously, too!

It is a fine line I walk with my emotions every day. I don't want to blog about the hard times and then someone say, "look, adoption is too hard. I don't want to do it." But the truth is I have to vent sometimes.

Some days it is almost too hard to bare. Some days I don't want to look at another blog or even think about adoption because it hurts. Some days I avoid going in the nursery or even looking at it like the plague. Each holiday that comes up I wonder, will she be here for the next one? Some days I fear something is wrong with me because I can't stay excited all the time. Its just too hard. Then I feel guilty because I know there are people out there that have waited soooo much longer than I have. I just don't see any progress being made. I just don't feel like everyday that passes is one more closer to Clarissa. I know I'm wrong. I hope I'm wrong.

Whoever said, "no news is good news" was not adopting!

So, to sum it all up. There is no new news. Nothing has changed. We are still just waiting.