Well, its been a month since I have posted anything. There are reasons for that. First, we participated in the Ordinary Hero fundraiser. I wanted my post about that to stay on the opening page of my blog for the month. Thank you so much for everyone who bought something. You are greatly appreciated!!
Second, there is really nothing else to post. We got our monthly call in November but there was really no news of which to speak. The Rwandan government has been in training meetings or something like that. I'm glad they are learning how to make everything better, I'm glad they seem to really care about the kids and realize that what they are doing affects a child's life tremendously. On the other hand, though, every day that passes without a referral affects a child's life tremendously, too!
It is a fine line I walk with my emotions every day. I don't want to blog about the hard times and then someone say, "look, adoption is too hard. I don't want to do it." But the truth is I have to vent sometimes.
Some days it is almost too hard to bare. Some days I don't want to look at another blog or even think about adoption because it hurts. Some days I avoid going in the nursery or even looking at it like the plague. Each holiday that comes up I wonder, will she be here for the next one? Some days I fear something is wrong with me because I can't stay excited all the time. Its just too hard. Then I feel guilty because I know there are people out there that have waited soooo much longer than I have. I just don't see any progress being made. I just don't feel like everyday that passes is one more closer to Clarissa. I know I'm wrong. I hope I'm wrong.
Whoever said, "no news is good news" was not adopting!
So, to sum it all up. There is no new news. Nothing has changed. We are still just waiting.
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Thinking of you Jen:) It is better to share your feelings so that prospective adoptive parents understand the realities and us other mommies know that our feelings are real and valid. I am sure you will look back and say (as all adoptive parents say) the wait was worth it!! Hugs XOXO
ReplyDeleteWe hear you! Nice to know other people are feeling the same way. Love and prayers.
ReplyDeleteSarah
I know it is so hard to wait. Please, know you are not alone and that I am praying for you. I can't wait to meet you in February!
ReplyDeletehey girlie. vent, let it out, talk about it. People considering adopting may need to read your thoughts....your true thoughts because they need to know what it's really like. It's not a fairy tale. Yet. I really think those going through what you're going through might find comfort in knowing they are not alone. Be happy though that your paperwork made it and you are in the final stages. You will have a daughter. You are going to be parents. Some little girl is going to call you mama. I wish we had that too. But don't hold back your feelings of sadness and impatience. It's normal, natural and expected. Just keep holding tight to the fact that you're little little girl WILL be here with you in time. I love you and I'm praying for you.
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