What will He make me?

I was working on one of my Bible studies today. This particular one is about John and it is a Beth Moore study. I have just started it and in the homework we are learning about when Jesus called John to be His disciple.

"'Come, follow me,' Jesus said, 'and I will make you fishers of men'" Mark 1:17

Beth goes on to say..."I am convinced that one part of that sentence applies to every person Jesus Christ calls: "Come, follow me, and I will make you..."

Jesus calls to me. He says, "Come, follow me, learn about me, rely on me, love me, talk to me, think about me, and I will make you..."

Doesn't that just open up so many possibilities. When I first stopped and thought about it, I said "OK, I want you to make me this... a good mother, someone who knows what to say, a better wife, more compassionate, less afraid to talk about you, make me someone that people would want to look upon, and while we are at it...why don't you make me prettier, smarter, funnier, you know, all that appealing stuff. Yeah, this all sounds good to me.

There it is again. If you read that last paragraph over, you see "me" all over it. I might as well have said me, me, me, me, me, me, and more me. Basically, my earlier statements say... "Make ME better and then I can do everything for you.

What am I thinking?!?!? Why would I want anything to do with me?!? I am so imperfect. I say all the wrong things. I do all the wrong things.

So, after my first reaction, here is my prayer:

"Come, follow me, Jesus said, "and I will make you...."

"I will follow, Lord. Please make me less of me and more of YOU!!"

Who are you again?!?

Hello again! Miss me? :)

Well, you know how it is with the holidays. Nothing gets done. I also stopped reading blogs for a while. I found it easier to wait if I wasn't constantly searching for information. I have slowly been making my way back and it is easier now than before not to get sucked in to reading everything and having to know everything. Those days to happen, though, don't get me wrong. Some days I think if I find the right forum or blog, I'll know everything I need to know.

First, there is movement in the adoption. Every few days I hear of approvals and that is wonderful. Still a good ways away from us but every one approved is one closer. That's about all the news. Since we are so far down the list, any news we hear doesn't really make a huge difference or change to our wait.

Christmas was wonderful!! This year Paul and I exchanged gifts. We haven't done that in a few years. It was great!! We probably went a little overboard but next year all of our money will be going to Clarissa. :-) Even though Clarissa couldn't be here this Christmas, she still got gifts.



My mother-in-law got her the Piglet rattle, my mom got her the hair bows, and my sister got her the piggy bank, complete with change (from my nephews most likely).

We rang in the new year with some good friends. Played a few board games and listened to Backstreet Boys and New Kids on the Block (I don't think they are so "new" any more) on Dick Clark's Rockin New Year's Eve.

Now back to regular life. I'm reading everything I can get my hands on. I'm doing two new bible studies. One on John and one on Paul. I'm trying to get better housecleaning habits so that life will not be so hard once Clarissa makes it home. And I'm just waiting. Without even being here, Clarissa is the center point of our lives. Everyday is lived around the waiting and preparing. I'm seeing God alot in this time. I'm seeing Him calm me more than ever before. I'm OK with the waiting as long as I am certain God is here with me waiting.