Good Things

It looks as if everything just fell apart and there was no good anywhere but that is not true.  When we first found out that our adoption is on "life support", the underlying tension in our household grew tremendously.  There were multiple causes to the tension.  This long wait (that we never thought we would have), the fact that Paul felt stuck in his job and didn't really want to do it anymore (that had been growing for a while), and the fact that we couldn't just get away from it all.

Finally, God opened a door and Paul applied for a new position at work.  He got the new job and I can't tell you what that meant for us.  It was a breath of fresh air for Paul.  His steps have been lighter ever since.  Today, I ask myself, did God give him this job because He knew what was coming?  Was this just a little bit of grace so that the thought of our adoption being over and starting again wouldn't crush us?  I am grateful for it either way.

The wait and the fact that we can't get away due to saving all our money for the adoption still hasn't changed.  There is really nothing we can do about that.

Another good thing that came out of this moment is that we had some really good friends step up and support us.  I also know that people in our church were really praying for us.  I know we couldn't have gotten through this without them.  Thanks!!

We still haven't made a decision on what we are going to do.  We have asked God to place His desires in our heart and we want to do what He wants us to do.  Paul says that he has the desire to change countries and that even with all his praying that desire hasn't waivered so that is where he thinks God is pointing us.  I felt the desire to change countries at the beginning but now, to be perfectly honest, I'm just numb.  I keep looking for signs to stay with Rwanda, all the while thinking about what we need to do to start our new dossier.  I have even rearranged the house (in my head, of course) so that we would be able to take 2 children instead of one.

We are going to make our mind up in 3 days, the end of the month.  Then we will just jump in with both feet.  Fully committed to waiting or starting all over again.

Please, please, please continue to pray for us!!  We need all the help we can get.